My Race

I have so many great sessions to blog but I really feel about writing about something different. This weekend I experienced something amazing. It was a big DEAL for me. I feel like I am standing on a tower, above so many fears, reaching with my hands out stretched, with my medal around my neck, telling the world that I am invincible once again.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it.

I was filled to the brim with FEAR.

5 years ago I was running on a trail and I was attacked. You can read my story HERE.

It changed my world. It took so much away from me. I was angry about the fear it left me with.

I used to be able to run outside. My feet would beat against the pavement, my eyes would soak in the brilliant nature that surrounded me and I would feel alive and I would feel peace. THAT WAS ALL RIPPED AWAY FROM ME. I no longer had that outlet. I thought it would never again be something I could experience. I ached for that. I ached for the fear to disappear. I just wanted to go back to the way it was before. I fought and fought against the scars that were left inside me.

I remember so well, the day after my attack. It was all motions. I was numb. I dreaded going to bed because I knew it would bring nightmares. I dreaded going anywhere alone. Fear was all I knew. But I didn’t give up. I held on to a shred of hope. Hope knowing that I might recover. Each day I pushed on and I did something difficult.  Each day I lifted my feet off the ground and I took steps. They were small steps. To many, they may have seemed insignificant. These steps were the road to becoming someone NEW.

This weekend I took some very important STEPS. I ran a 200 miles relay race. I faced a fear. I overcame FEAR. I was able to experience what I loved about running once again! The race I ran this weekend symbolized so much for me. I pushed my self to the limit. I didn’t stop once. I kept going. I didn’t give up. Each step I took in this race represented the steps I have taken the last 5 years of my life. At the end of the race. I sprinted to the finish and I was filled with so much emotion. It was a beautiful feeling. I was FEARLESS for that moment, I was STRONG, I was no longer angry. I was standing high above, like I was on the edge of  a grand mountain. I glanced down, and hundreds of miles below me was all my fear. I stared in the face of it and it cowered away from me.



8 Comments

  1. OH MY DEAR HEAVENS you are incredible. You amaze me. xoxo

  2. Nolwen wrote:

    So inspiring Kali!! Congrats on your victory!!

  3. Joan wrote:

    This made me cry. I remember what you were like 5 years ago when I first met you – and have watched you become stronger. Congratulations on overcoming a huge challenge. Well done!

  4. Stephanie Clay wrote:

    Kali, I am so proud of you!!! You are such an inspiration to me…thank you!

  5. Rae wrote:

    Congrats Kali!!! A ragnar is a HUGE accomplishment in itself, but even bigger is what you overcame. I am so proud of you and so happy for you!!!

  6. natalie wrote:

    Congrats! You did it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and emotions.

  7. Erin Brooks wrote:

    Gah–every time I read your posts I marvel at what a strong woman you are, and how wonderfully you are able to convey that strength and raw emotion through your words. Well done, Kali!