Making the Home School Decision

I always sit here are feel like I am facing something uncomfortable. I stare at the blank screen and so many thoughts and feelings are in my head that I want to share but I am scared of criticism and scared of writing what I want to say in a way that is misinterpreted. I am always afraid of offending someone out there. Who am I kidding. Does anyone even read the stuff I write on here? Either way I have to put it on the line. I have to be true to myself.

My little girl. Oh I adore her. Sending her to kindergarten was difficult. She was scared, timid and I just remember how she stared at me before I turned around and walked away. Her perfect eyes, perfect lips and perfect face looking through the glass and putting her trust in me, knowing that I wouldn’t leave her anywhere that wasn’t safe and comfortable.

She was (by school standards) an excellent student. Fast learner, good listener, worked well with the other children, sat quietly at her desk. She made me proud. Occasionally her teacher would inform me that she would “space out” and I needed to remind her not to do this. First grade mirrored kindergarten. My excellent student was meeting or exceeding the standards. But something just didn’t feel right. I missed her all day. I ached for her to be home with me. But I felt pressured. In a box that is closing in. We do what everyone else is doing because it’s the right thing to do right? We walk in a single file line and we keep our hands by our side.

Lena would come home and tell me that her bus with 80 plus kids on it was too loud and hot. She told me that she would plug her ears in the lunch room because it was too loud. She told me that she liked her teacher and being in the classroom but she missed me a lot at school. She asked me if I could home school her.

Hand in hand my husband and I discussed our options. When it comes to your children you don’t want to mess up. You pray to make the best decisions for them.

We felt that we should Home school. Every child is so unique and sparkling with potential. We felt that Lena would benefit from learning at home for the rest of this school year. I don’t know how I will feel next year or the year after that but I am committed and have been teaching her at home for 5 weeks and for 5 weeks I have felt so much joy. Joy watching her grow and learn. Joy knowing that the choice was hard for me to make but it is a choice that makes my heart swell with happiness.

 

 



6 Comments

  1. well I read every post and love it all!

    I am glad you talked about home schooling I was curious ever since your IG post. I feel the same way about school and look forward to homes schooling the boys. We had Ryan in pre school that I prayed a lot about this summer, it is 10 kids and in the home of a friend who is also LDS. It was the only way I felt okay with it, I knew he was getting what he needed in the way he needed it… kindergarten? No way…

    thanks for putting this out there! you rock!

  2. Toni raper wrote:

    I just had to let you know that I read this! Mamas know what is best for their babies, don’t doubt yourself. Such sweet pictures of her, she looks like a fair angel.

  3. robin marie wrote:

    I read too! I am glad it is going so well!

  4. natalie smith wrote:

    Thanks for opening up. I had been wondering why you did this and hoped it was just for the reasons you stated and nothing too serious. You are a good mommy. This pictures are beautiful!

  5. Rae wrote:

    I love your personal posts. Good for you for doing what’s best for you. No matter what Lena has two parents who love her so much, and that’s what’s most important.
    xoxo

  6. Daniele wrote:

    Goof for you Kali! I think it is wonderful that you’re trusting your instincts as a mother. That’s all any of us can do really, and I’m happy to hear that you’re happy!